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Midi "One Heart- One Soul" is used with permission and is copyright © 2001 Bruce DeBoer |
We had a terrible tragedy at the base this week. One of our young air-men shot his ex-wife and then shot himself. They left a ten month old son who was asleep in another bedroom when it happened. I attended the memorial service at the chapel today for the mother. During the service, the chaplain asked that friends of the mother write a letter to the baby and tell him what his mother was like because he would surely not remember as he grows older and these letters would be comforting to him. I did not know the mother but wrote the following letter to comfort him. |
"A Letter To Taylor" |
Dear Taylor, I never met your mother, but I just returned from her memorial service and have come to know her by all of the things that I have heard about her. She was a truly remarkable person. I am deeply saddened at the thought that you will grow up without knowing her and having her there for you. |
You might wonder why I am writing this letter, since I didn't actually know your mother. I asked myself that same question and decided to write the letter anyway. Perhaps I can provide you some comfort. You see, I have had a similar experience, only it was my son who died. He was only eight years old. He died of cancer - a brain tumor. He would have been 29 years old today, the same day as your mother's memorial service. I often wonder why this happened - just as I am sure that you will ask that same question. Why did this happen? I can't answer that question. It's a mystery to me. But I can tell you that I believe in God and His word as revealed to us in His scriptures. There is a passage that says that while we are in this life we cannot see eternal things. It is like trying to look through a mirror. But the scripture does tell us that this will change when we are reunited with our loved ones in heaven. We will see clearly and we will understand. I look forward to that time when my son explains to me (and your mother explains to you) exactly why this happened in the lives of our families. Meanwhile, I have come to accept what has happened in my family and pray that you will make peace with what has happened to you. |
When I was a child I can remember going to church and hearing the minister pray for "peace that passes understanding". I wasn't sure what that meant, but as I have grown in my spirituality, I came to understand that peace can surpass understanding. While I still don't understand, I have made peace with what happened and that allows me to live a rich, full life without carrying a heavy burden of why this happened to my son. I know other people who have had experiences similar to mine (and yours) who have never found this peace. They continue to carry the burden and their lives are miserable. And they make those around them miserable, too. God can give you this kind of peace. I pray that you will receive it. |
I have come to understand that there are three kinds of people. Those that don't know Jesus at all, those that know Jesus in their heads, and those that know Jesus in their hearts. I used to be one of those who knew Jesus in my head. I went to church and proclaimed to know Jesus. I could recite bible verses. The one I most remember was John 3:16. "For God so loved the world that He gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish, but inherit eternal life". I knew that in my head, but I never felt it in my heart. When my only son died in my arms, that verse went from my head to my heart. At that very moment I experienced what God and His Son had gone through for me. I began to know Jesus in my heart. This was a big step in gaining that peace that surpasses understanding. |
I said before that I never met your mother, but from the things that I have heard about her, I can tell that she knew Jesus in her heart. I know that she would want this for you as well. Seek the peace that I know she would want you to have. Don't blame her for what happened. She didn't want it to happen any more than you or I did. Don't be angry with her. Also, don't be angry with your father. Please forgive him. That kind of forgiveness is necessary for you to have the peace that will allow you to be happy and enjoy your own life. Again, I am sure you will ask "Why" and be angry about what he did. Do not let that overcome you. I can't tell you why he did what he did any more than I can tell you why my son died of cancer, but I can tell you that not forgiving him for it will consume you and cause you even more problems in life than what has already happened. |
I know that you will grow up in a loving family atmosphere. I could tell that by the love I saw in your grandparents and your aunts. Be thankful for that and comfort them. They loved your mother very much and will miss her, too. |
One last thought. When my son died, I gave him permission to die. He was fighting with everything he had and I could tell that he wasn't going to make it. I told him that it was okay. That he had put up a good fight, but he could stop fighting and go peacefully and he did. I could tell that he was comforted by knowing that he had my permission to go and be with God. During my grief, I discovered that if I could give him permission to die, he could give me permission to live. I know that he would want me to be happy for the rest of my life. I know, too, that your mother would want you to be happy for the rest of your life. Go ahead! You have her permission! I wish you the peace that surpasses understanding. |
Someone Who Knows "Jesus" In His Heart |
Author: Is known by Dede and this letter is Copyright©2002 and used with permission |
Dedes Note: This letter is for real folks! Sad but true. It was written by *Someone Who knows Jesus In His Heart* Taylor is only 10 months old and is without a mommy and a daddy, because of a decision made by his daddy. Please pray for Taylor,that God will always hold him close and guide him. Pray for his parents and the rest of his family. God would want this I am sure. Love To All In His Name! |
Midi "One Heart- One Soul" is used with permission and is copyright © 2001 Bruce DeBoer |
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